WHO IS A CHILD?||WHO IS MY CHILD?

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Innocent, carefree, grossly ignorant, totally dependent, playful and little are only few characteristics we can use to define a child. The dictionary (Merriam Webster) defines a child as one strongly influenced by another or by a place or state of affairs. One major quality of a child is his(her) vulnerability to be so easily influenced. Every child is born empty intellectually, and what his(her) mind would be fed would determine who he/she would live to become. It’s absurd to expect a child to behave like an adult. A caterpillar would fly one day but you can’t expect it to fly while it’s still in that stage. Until it matures into a butterfly, it can’t fly. Shouting on it, threatening it, kicking it would change nothing, it has to grow. When it comes to  a child, that’s exactly what many of us parents and teachers do. Parents have a long list of expectations from their children, so do the teachers. The list is usually selfish, uninformed, harsh and abusive. Many times the list is generated by comparing the child with other children and the parents of the child involved and whenever the expectations are not met the child is criticized for falling short of the glory of their almighty parents and teachers. This is wrong.

“A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn’t act that way very often”  — Author unknown

https://www.compassion.com/poverty/famous-quotes-about-children.htm

First, we have to recognise that every child is intellectually and biologically different. No two children are the same. Not even if they come from the same parents. We have to study each child patiently and observe their unique differences. 

I once saw a teacher, who was serving in  the National Youth Service Corps. She was employed to take two children extramural lessons. One was in primary one and the other in primary three. The children were brothers, they both grew up in a community that had a really poor educational status. It was a rural community. The pupils and students in that community had poor communication skills, couldn’t relate very well in English language. It was clear that the fault was largely from the schools in that community and the most used language in that community was Hausa. So you can imagine the difficulty this graduate (now corp member) would experience teaching these children. She was often frustrated and angry. Always threatening the children at the top of her voice. She taught the children one topic for weeks but it didn’t seem like they were the same children she taught when they resumed the next week. She took it personally. And the children on the other hand were always trying to do their best to give their teacher the best she wanted. But they can’t give what they don’t have. The children were suffering whereas the teacher was angry. They scarcely understood English language, so they couldn’t answer questions correctly and the threats only made them more timid and less self confident. It was a sad scenerio.

Every teacher and parent has the responsibility of understanding his/her ward and making sure they educate and teach them based on their individual needs. Here are a few questions to ask yourself when trying to get to know a child;

1. What is the child’s name?
2. What’s his(her) age?
3. What interests the child?
4. What’s the child personality?
5. What’s the child’s background like?
6. What methodology of teaching works best for him(her)?
7. How quick does to child understand?
8. What’s the child’s love language?
9. Who are his(her) friends?
10. Who are his(her) parents?
11. What does he/she think about his parents?
12. What are his(her) most painful memories?
13. What are his(her) her most memorable moments? 
14. Where has the child been to?

The answers to most of these questions might not be gotten by asking the child but by paying close attention, spending more and more time with the child. Getting to know your child is a worthy project. You can ask your child’s teachers for help in knowing your child’s educational persona and portfolio, for tips and what methods work best for the child. You’ll learn little by little every day and then you would know how to customize your parenting and teaching to fit the unique needs and compatibility of the child.

So, who is your child? We’ll love to know him(her). Tell us a bit in the comment section below.